Folks, if there’s a gold medal for congressional stupidity, Texas Democrat Jasmine Crockett just sprinted to the podium, tripped over her own tongue, and face-planted right into it. This genius went full conspiracy nut on the House floor in November 2025, screeching that EPA Administrator Lee Zeldin and other Republicans took campaign cash from “somebody named Jeffrey Epstein.” Yeah, that Jeffrey Epstein – the dead sex trafficker who offed himself in the clink back in 2019. Except, plot twist, the donations came in 2020 and later, from a completely different Jeffrey Epstein, a Long Island brain surgeon who’s very much alive and now plotting sweet revenge on this moron for dragging his name through the pedo mud.
In her latest defense of the indefensible, Genius Jasmine Crockett, JD, now claims the donation I received from Dr. Jeffrey Epstein was BEFORE the other Jeffrey Epstein died. That is a LIE and she knows it, hoping there would be no push back from the TV host. The FEC record she… https://t.co/03rkO58qtK
— Lee Zeldin (@LeeMZeldin) November 30, 2025
This wasn’t some offhand slip – Crockett was grandstanding, promising to “expose it all” like she cracked the case of the century. Turns out she can’t even Google properly. The good doctor Epstein, who’s spent decades saving lives instead of ruining them, fired back that he’s considering every option to make her pay for the smear. Zeldin torched her online, the backlash hit like a freight train, and Crockett slimed away with the lamest backpedal in history: “I never said it was that Jeffrey Epstein.” Sure, lady. You just happened to drop the most infamous pedophile name in America while attacking Republicans. Total coincidence. This brainiac doubled down on TV, whining that the name match was suspicious anyway. Suspicious like your IQ score, hon.
And get this – she unleashed this garbage while trying to defend some fellow Dem from actual Epstein ties or whatever scandal-of-the-week. Backfired spectacularly. Crockett turned a nothingburger into a self-own that lit up the internet and proved once again: when Democrats accuse you of something, it’s always projection from the dumbest room in the building.
But why stop at one epic fail when Crockett’s got a greatest hits album of idiocy that’s longer than the border wall we need?
The Top Ten Dumbest Things to Ever Tumble Out of Jasmine Crockett’s Mouth
- Claiming in September 2025 that law enforcement’s whole gig isn’t to prevent crime – it’s just to show up after the bodies hit the floor. Yeah, because nothing says “smart policy” like admitting you want cops reactive while thugs run wild.
- Insisting earlier this year that the Republican Party is “inherently violent.” Project much? This from the party that turned cities into war zones with defund-the-police lunacy.
- Declaring that illegally sneaking across the border isn’t a crime at all. Tell that to the families of the women raped and kids fentanyl-poisoned by the invaders her policies invited.
- Her legendary 2024 meltdown where she body-shamed Marjorie Taylor Greene with that “bleach blonde bad built butch body” nonsense. Real classy – and zero self-awareness from a woman who looks like she gets her policy ideas from TikTok rants.
- Screeching that Trump wants Black Americans picking cotton again or back on the plantation. Lady, the only chains around here are the ones Democrats slap on minorities with welfare traps and crap schools.
- Mocking “Black jobs” by bragging that being Vice President is a Black job now. Congrats on reducing Kamala Harris’s entire career to her skin color – peak Democrat racism right there.
- Whining that voter ID laws are racist because apparently Black folks are too dumb to get IDs. Yeah, she went there – insulting her own voters while pretending to defend them.
- Defending the Biden border disaster by claiming there’s no such thing as illegal immigration or that migrants don’t commit crimes. This while Angel Moms weep and cartel monsters laugh all the way to the bank.
- Going full unhinged claiming Republicans are “pro-rapist” because they protect unborn babies. Twisted logic from a party that fights harder for criminals than victims.
- And the undisputed champion: the November 2025 Epstein-Zeldin smear, where she tried to tie living Republicans to a dead pedophile via a name coincidence and got humiliated nationwide. This wasn’t just dumb – it was malicious stupidity on steroids, the kind that gets you laughed out of any room with adults.
Jasmine Crockett isn’t just contending for Dumbest Member of Congress – she’s lapping the field. This is what happens when you elect rage-farmers who prioritize viral clips over brain cells. Texas deserves better than this embarrassment, but Democrats keep sending her back because hating America loud pays the bills. Time to primary this clown and send her back to whatever salon chair she crawled out of. America First means smart representatives, not this circus act.